completly drained

i should have been doing college work tonight, i should have been doing it all weekend. but i ended up sleeping and watching tv. i needed it though. i have been doing so much work recently it is unreal. thats why i havent posted in ages :(

college is so stressful, and i only have one whole week left!!! its scary, everything has to be in, and i dont have some assignments back yet!!! so worried. it has turned me into a wreak this past month. ill, spotty, weight going up and down, fatigued :( everything related to stress. i need sleep right now. should be doing work. urgh.

one good thing though!! work experience starts the week after!!! eee excited and scared much!! i didnt get the stables placement however! :( :( really disappointed, but i have a place at a kennels :D hope its good. next year i want something more what i want to do in my life, like a conservation centre or a zoo <3 me and my friend sfrom college are hoping to go to africa next summer to do conservation work!!! <3 i hope we do, it is want i want in my life. but i cant see it happening tbh. hmm

cadets is being mental. two camps in a row staring next weekend!! eshk. i will die. the first one is a field craft one so i get to play army!! haha, buuuut i am with some who i dislike very much!! cant win haha. next one is a teaching course, should be fun :) news i might not have already said, but i am a full PI now!!! ARGHHHH hahaha sooo happy. i get to teach, i get to talk to people, i get paid!!! love it.

still no luck on the romantic side of my life... even though some people think i do!!!!! right, someone who i thought was a nice guy stared a rumour abut me telling adults and CADETS!!! that i had lost my virginity to an other adult. but thats not true. i am still a virgin, and proud. i cant believe he told cadets. you're not allowed to talk to cadets about sex and sexual relationships!!! ive had quite a few lad cadets who want to get with me, come up to me and ask if it true!!!! they shouldnt do that!!!! its not right. two of them was sad and angry when they heard!!!! why do people want my virginity so  much!!!!!! it makes me angry. its a breach of my privacy and its sick. really cant be doing with it, and i am seeing him on camp next weekend too. i dont know what to do...

rant over. haha!!

anywho, best get some sleep as i am going into college tomorrow :( i dont usually :( hmm. nightttt love you. <3